Fuck It.

Children are an odd subject for me. I love them, yet they scare me, I can be very awkward around them. Or I can be fantastic with them.

Francis has changed the way I see children. I always never wanted to have children of my own, was adamant in that respect. I've changed my mind now. I would love to have them.

But now, after thinking deeply about it, I'm not sure I could.
For medical reasons:
My liver is Fcuked.
My eating disorder would get awfully bad, due to me being paranoid about putting on weight.

Mental reasons:
My eating.
Depression.
Needles.
Hospital.
My experiences. (I couldn't have all those invasive examinations.)


It's really sad, because (Not being big headed here) I think I'd make a great mum, and loads of people agree! I know I'd just get panicky, and end up getting ill.

I've done some research, and it turns out a lot of people are like that.
I hope I'll be better by the time I want to have kids. I really do.