How To Save A Life.

Life has been tough...
To say the least.

Some revelations have caused me much pain.
Seems like people are two faced back stabbing pricks.
But then that's just life.

Somebody called me fat the other day.
My anorexic loopiness overwhelmed me, and I almost had a complete breakdown.
I'm back up to nine stone, and feel like a fat whale. ='(

I was in Physics, and someone called me fat, and my teacher asked me what was wrong...
"What's the matter? Why didn't you do the experiment Felicity?"
"Because I just didn't want to..."
"But you were fine about it until a minute ago. Did someone say something to you?"
"Kindaa..."
"What happened?"
"Nothing, it doesn't matter."
"It must have, it stopped you doing the experiment, and you look pretty upset."
"Someone called me a fat cow."
"That's just stupid, you're anything BUT fat."
"It wouldn't bother me much, except for the fact that I've had real issues with my weight. Last summer I was practically anorexic, I lost two stone in a month. So it would be really easy for me to get into that frame of mind, so it's difficult for me to actually eat properly."

Later on, I went to Physics catch up during lunch.
"How you feeling?"
"Okay. Ish."
"I spoke to guidance, they said they'd speak to him."
"Thanks Sir. It honestly wouldn't have bothered me, but, well, you know..."
"Felicity, what he said is bullying, no matter if it bothered you or not. But, if it makes you feel any better, your weight is fine, and I wouldn't have been able to tell you had issues with your weight. You hide it really well."

Battle Of Britain Formal Parade on Sunday. Sounds fun. Going out to get pissed afterwards mind. But isn't that what it's all about? It's a long weekend... :L x

A New Day Has Come

Detox Day One- Vitamins, Vitamin Water, and one Gold bar. Whoops. :L Still, I'll skip dinner, or have a small salad. Spent all night on pro ana sites, so that has given me inspirational. Saying that, already feel a bit dizzy, due to no sleep. Oopsy. :L

Oh well. Cannot begin to contemplate Games today, or numerous flights of stairs. Ah scheiss. Merde.

A Beginning Or An End?

I've met some amazing friends. I'm so glad I have them, don't know what I would have done without them tbqh. It seems stupid to get so stupidly attached to them already, but I know I can count on them already. :) I just need to get to know them before I can open up to them properly.

Lola, Helen, and Grace. :) xxx

Going to a wedding on Saturday. Hope I enjoy it, but I'm slightly too self conscious to look forward to it. =/

Fresh Start. What, another one?

Started my new today. It was okay, partly because I'm used to being the new kid. So it doesn't bother me as it once would. I just feel indifferent towards it all.

I just wish I had someone to talk to though. Like, face to face. But I've not really got anyone left now. Ah well. TIme to start struggling on my own. Again. Ah well.

I've been felling really down, but I've kept it hidden. But all I wanna do is curl up ina little ball and cry.

I've promised Francis and my grandmother that I won't self harm again. But it's getiing really hard. And I made a promise.

I intend to keep it.