How?

I am so fucking ill. I can't sleep.

Francis is coming up at the end of this month. AND I AM GOING TO SEE MCR!!!!

But then again, this month has some pretty horrible memories too.
Like on the 7th, I was taken into hospital after taking 64 paracetamol.
On the 15th I got kicked outta my house after having a huge fight with my mother.
On the 22nd, I went out on a night out, got very drunk, and well, it wasn't nice...

I'm feeling very depressed and go back to self harm and not eating. Why can't I just be fucking normal?

I remember when I first got with Francis, and I told him what had happened, he started crying.
I don't even cry about it.
I can't.

I'm so so worried about Lola and Grace. Grace has been self harming and Lola has been wanting to.

I don't know how to help them. I can barely help myself. We're all in trouble and don't know what to do.