Why?

So I post a lot. Or rather, used to. Since my military style regime was implemented, I haven't been able to go on the computer at home. I read a friend's posting, and he referred to someone he knew that posted twice daily. I think he was referring to me. Well, if nobody reads these things, then what does it matter?

I'm sick of everyone telling me what I can and cannot do. I'm not some sort of Private that Steve can order around. He isn't in the bleeding Army at weekends, why act like it? He's made my life a living hell, and when I tell someone the truth, because they force it out of me, he accuses me of being a liar, and phones the police, to ensure that "His ass is covered".

I've been horribly depressed recently, and have gone back to self harming, though Darren is the only one that knows. Not even my parents know, because I will get thrown out of school. So, it's a no go.

I tried to kill myself on Saturday. Darren tried to save me, but I wish to God he hadn't.
I'm going up there again some day son. I need to just get away from it all.